"Grumble, Grumble, Grumble"
by Tambra Breyer
Summer brings a different pace. The pace may be slower with the ability to sleep in a bit and a less regimented schedule. Or the pace may be faster with planning a flurry of daily activities to keep the kids occupied. There may be less work to do or more work to do. For some it means being around people more (no daily break from the kiddos), and for others it means being around people less (fewer people in the office to interact with). No matter the pace of summer, any change of pace can bring challenges and irritants with it. Have your kids ever asked, “Why can’t we go swimming like our friends?” Or as a parent, have you ever said (loudly), “Am I the only one that knows how to put shoes away?” Maybe as a co-worker you have thought, “Why don’t people honor their commitment and do what they said they would do?” Notice that complaining or grumbling doesn’t always come out as shouting. It can come out as muttering to oneself, sarcasm, eye rolling and other body language, or even self-pity.
But everyone grumbles about something, right? Whether it’s the weather, traffic, inflation, poor service at lunch, or the Amazon package that didn’t arrive between 4am and 8 am as promised, complaining or grumbling is no big deal. Or is it?
The Power of Our Words
The thing about grumbling or complaining is that it is not harmless: it’s contagious. Throughout the Bible, when grumbling happens it is typically with groups of people. The Israelites grumbled against Aaron and Moses even though they had witnessed God’s provision firsthand (Num. 14:1-4). The Pharisees grumbled about Jesus eating with tax collectors and sinners (Luke 5:30). Many of Jesus’ disciples grumbled about how difficult his teachings were to understand (John 6:41,61). In the early church, a group of Hellenists grumbled against the Hebrews because of unfair treatment of their widows (Acts 6:1). While that last example was a legitimate complaint and was handled in a God-honoring way, the word “complaint” in the text is the same word used elsewhere for grumble or mutter. As James writes in his letter to the scattered Jews, “Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” Grumbling does not remain a solo activity for long. As the apostle Paul explains, “a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough” (Gal. 5:9).
Not only is grumbling contagious, it fractures relationships. In the book The Grumble-Free Year, author Tricia Goyer states, “Grumbling puts wedges between people.” She continues, “Grumbling equals disconnection. And praise equals connection and bonding.” There is a lot written about the power of our words in the book of Proverbs. Our words produce either death or life (Prov. 18:21), they either bring longevity or put an end to things (Prov. 13:3), they either destroy people or they rescue people (Prov. 11:9), they either build people up or they crush them (Prov. 15:4). As the apostle Paul states, “For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another” (Gal. 5:14-15).
Words Overflow from Our Thoughts
Research shows that adults have roughly 60,000 thoughts a day. Of those thoughts, 80% of them are negative, and 95% of them are repetitive. It is a process called neuroplasticity. As neuropsychologist Donald Hebb discovered, “neurons that fire together, wire together.” That means that repetitive thoughts cause our brains to reinforce patterns of negativity, complaining, and grumbling. Left to ourselves, we remain in a continual state of discontent which is the breeding ground for complaining and grumbling. Whether it presents as anger, jealousy, self-sufficiency, self-pity, or pride; discontent and grumbling is a sin and God takes it very seriously. This is why there are so many warnings against it in the Bible:
Do everything without grumbling or arguing... (Phil. 2:14)
Do not grumble against one another... (James 5:9)
Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. (1 Pet. 4:9)
Do not grumble... (1 Cor. 10:10)
Jesus said “What you say flows from what is in your heart” (Luke 6:45). To continue that statement, it is also true that what you think flows from what is in your heart and it doesn’t have to come out through words. Grumbling to yourself will eventually spill out, whether it is through body language, a cold shoulder, or passive-aggressive means (such as a poor work ethic).
Ways to Course Correct
The good news is that because 95% of our thoughts are repetitive, we can use neuroplasticity to our advantage. One way to do that is to “take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5). This can be done by filtering thoughts through Galatians 4:8- thinking on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. Thinking on those things is a sure way to rewire the brain toward positivity rather than negativity.
Another way to course correct is by practicing gratitude and there are two ways to go about it. One way to practice gratitude is to thank God for something the moment you feel a grumbling spirit rise up and write it down either in a journal or on a slip of paper that is placed in a gratitude jar. Another way to practice gratitude is to write down on small slips of paper as many things for which you are grateful that you can think of and use them to fill a gratitude jar. When you catch yourself grumbling or complaining, pull a slip out of the gratitude jar to remind yourself to be grateful for something.
Of course, praying to God is the best way to address a spirit of grumbling. Praying to God and reading Scripture helps us better understand and align with His heart for us and our attitude toward others. One Bible verse to pray is Psalm 51:10 (ESV), “Create in me a clean heart, O Lord, and renew a right spirit within me.” Another is Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”
In our culture, grumbling is pervasive, even normalized, yet the Bible is clear that it is a sin. With the understanding that grumbling is also contagious and fractures relationships, we can begin to course correct by renewing our minds and asking God to cleanse our hearts.
But everyone grumbles about something, right? Whether it’s the weather, traffic, inflation, poor service at lunch, or the Amazon package that didn’t arrive between 4am and 8 am as promised, complaining or grumbling is no big deal. Or is it?
The Power of Our Words
The thing about grumbling or complaining is that it is not harmless: it’s contagious. Throughout the Bible, when grumbling happens it is typically with groups of people. The Israelites grumbled against Aaron and Moses even though they had witnessed God’s provision firsthand (Num. 14:1-4). The Pharisees grumbled about Jesus eating with tax collectors and sinners (Luke 5:30). Many of Jesus’ disciples grumbled about how difficult his teachings were to understand (John 6:41,61). In the early church, a group of Hellenists grumbled against the Hebrews because of unfair treatment of their widows (Acts 6:1). While that last example was a legitimate complaint and was handled in a God-honoring way, the word “complaint” in the text is the same word used elsewhere for grumble or mutter. As James writes in his letter to the scattered Jews, “Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” Grumbling does not remain a solo activity for long. As the apostle Paul explains, “a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough” (Gal. 5:9).
Not only is grumbling contagious, it fractures relationships. In the book The Grumble-Free Year, author Tricia Goyer states, “Grumbling puts wedges between people.” She continues, “Grumbling equals disconnection. And praise equals connection and bonding.” There is a lot written about the power of our words in the book of Proverbs. Our words produce either death or life (Prov. 18:21), they either bring longevity or put an end to things (Prov. 13:3), they either destroy people or they rescue people (Prov. 11:9), they either build people up or they crush them (Prov. 15:4). As the apostle Paul states, “For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another” (Gal. 5:14-15).
Words Overflow from Our Thoughts
Research shows that adults have roughly 60,000 thoughts a day. Of those thoughts, 80% of them are negative, and 95% of them are repetitive. It is a process called neuroplasticity. As neuropsychologist Donald Hebb discovered, “neurons that fire together, wire together.” That means that repetitive thoughts cause our brains to reinforce patterns of negativity, complaining, and grumbling. Left to ourselves, we remain in a continual state of discontent which is the breeding ground for complaining and grumbling. Whether it presents as anger, jealousy, self-sufficiency, self-pity, or pride; discontent and grumbling is a sin and God takes it very seriously. This is why there are so many warnings against it in the Bible:
Do everything without grumbling or arguing... (Phil. 2:14)
Do not grumble against one another... (James 5:9)
Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. (1 Pet. 4:9)
Do not grumble... (1 Cor. 10:10)
Jesus said “What you say flows from what is in your heart” (Luke 6:45). To continue that statement, it is also true that what you think flows from what is in your heart and it doesn’t have to come out through words. Grumbling to yourself will eventually spill out, whether it is through body language, a cold shoulder, or passive-aggressive means (such as a poor work ethic).
Ways to Course Correct
The good news is that because 95% of our thoughts are repetitive, we can use neuroplasticity to our advantage. One way to do that is to “take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5). This can be done by filtering thoughts through Galatians 4:8- thinking on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. Thinking on those things is a sure way to rewire the brain toward positivity rather than negativity.
Another way to course correct is by practicing gratitude and there are two ways to go about it. One way to practice gratitude is to thank God for something the moment you feel a grumbling spirit rise up and write it down either in a journal or on a slip of paper that is placed in a gratitude jar. Another way to practice gratitude is to write down on small slips of paper as many things for which you are grateful that you can think of and use them to fill a gratitude jar. When you catch yourself grumbling or complaining, pull a slip out of the gratitude jar to remind yourself to be grateful for something.
Of course, praying to God is the best way to address a spirit of grumbling. Praying to God and reading Scripture helps us better understand and align with His heart for us and our attitude toward others. One Bible verse to pray is Psalm 51:10 (ESV), “Create in me a clean heart, O Lord, and renew a right spirit within me.” Another is Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”
In our culture, grumbling is pervasive, even normalized, yet the Bible is clear that it is a sin. With the understanding that grumbling is also contagious and fractures relationships, we can begin to course correct by renewing our minds and asking God to cleanse our hearts.