Coping in a Postmodern World
by Tambra Breyer
We live in the postmodern era which is characterized by the following:
There are many other characteristics of postmodernism, but these three bullet points highlight a common theme. Without any belief in ultimate truth, identity (and life in general) becomes a matter of self-discovery and, ultimately, self-determination. Without truth and faith, there is no firm foundation on which to land. It’s no wonder the mental health of our country has reached a crisis point. In John 16:33, Jesus says, “In this world you will have trouble (NIV).” The Message translation puts it this way: “In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties.” So how can a person learn to cope in today’s world?
According to Merriam Webster, the definition of the word cope is “to deal with and attempt to overcome problems and difficulties.” We all use coping strategies to help us manage stress and unpleasant emotions related to problems or difficulties we face. Coping strategies can be conscious or nonconscious; healthy or problematic; active or avoidant.
The first part of the Serenity Prayer is, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” How do we cope in healthy ways that address accepting the things we cannot change, as well as changing the things we can?
Emotion-Focused Coping Skills
Emotion-focused coping skills are methods or strategies for dealing with feelings and emotions in an effort to reduce stress or anxiety. Emotion-focused coping skills are helpful when a person has no control over a situation (accepting the things we cannot change). These coping skills can help a person learn how to better tolerate stress so they become more resilient.
Emotion-focused coping strategies aim to calm down the emotional center of the brain. These coping strategies include activities such as deep breathing, exercise, listening to soothing music, painting, reading, etc. Whether before or after using these emotion-focused coping skills, processing the emotions is vitally important. Processing emotions will help you identify what you are actually feeling. It is surprising how often we mislabel difficult emotions such as fear and anger.
Problem-Focused Coping Skills
Problem-focused coping skills are methods or strategies for dealing with a problem or difficulty by taking action to change the situation. Problem-focused coping skills are helpful when a person has some control over a situation (changing the things we can) and can help a person feel more empowered.
Problem-focused coping strategies aim to engage the processing center of the brain. These coping strategies include activities such as writing pros and cons, prioritizing tasks, setting boundaries, challenging negative self-talk, asking for help or time extension, etc.
Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Unhealthy coping strategies are behaviors that may provide short-term relief but may either make the difficulty worse in the long run or present a new problem as a result of the coping mechanism. Substance abuse, avoidance, self-harm, and negative self-talk are among the most common examples of unhealthy coping strategies. For instance, both problem-focused and emotion-focused coping skills may include taking a break in order to clear your head. A short break of playing video games or watching a show can be beneficial. However, using it continually as a coping strategy can lead to unhealthy bingeing. The same is true when having a drink or a bowl of ice cream to calm your nerves or engaging in “retail therapy.” Using any substance or activity as a form of escapism on a routine basis will put a person at risk of an addiction. It may provide short-term emotional relief but will heighten emotional distress in the long run.
Self-harm is another unhealthy coping mechanism used most frequently by teens. In fact, according to the American Psychological Association, nearly 17% of teens have tried it at least once. Those who engage in self-harm use it to escape emotional distress. By cutting (or other means of self-injury) the focus shifts from emotional pain to physical pain.
Christian Coping Mechanisms
Remember that Jesus said that we will have trouble, difficulties, and problems. Yet as Christians, we also have ultimate truth. That means we have access to distinctively Christian coping tools that the post-modern world does not have. Instead of simply listening to music we can let Christian music sing the Word of God over us. Instead of positive self-talk, we can let God talk. We can get our identity based on who God says we are, not who the world says we are (or are not). We can make a to-do list for those things within our control- and also make a list recounting the faithfulness of God for the things that are outside of our control. And when we need to talk to someone, we can pray and talk to God, the one who knows us better than anyone else.
As Jesus said in John 17:14-17 (NIV), “I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.”
- Truth is no longer definitive but is dependent on an individual’s perspective (my truth versus the truth).
- Religion is no longer handed down to the next generation but is a matter of self-discovery.
- Technology has broad use in homes, businesses and education, and social media largely influences individual identity.
There are many other characteristics of postmodernism, but these three bullet points highlight a common theme. Without any belief in ultimate truth, identity (and life in general) becomes a matter of self-discovery and, ultimately, self-determination. Without truth and faith, there is no firm foundation on which to land. It’s no wonder the mental health of our country has reached a crisis point. In John 16:33, Jesus says, “In this world you will have trouble (NIV).” The Message translation puts it this way: “In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties.” So how can a person learn to cope in today’s world?
According to Merriam Webster, the definition of the word cope is “to deal with and attempt to overcome problems and difficulties.” We all use coping strategies to help us manage stress and unpleasant emotions related to problems or difficulties we face. Coping strategies can be conscious or nonconscious; healthy or problematic; active or avoidant.
The first part of the Serenity Prayer is, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” How do we cope in healthy ways that address accepting the things we cannot change, as well as changing the things we can?
Emotion-Focused Coping Skills
Emotion-focused coping skills are methods or strategies for dealing with feelings and emotions in an effort to reduce stress or anxiety. Emotion-focused coping skills are helpful when a person has no control over a situation (accepting the things we cannot change). These coping skills can help a person learn how to better tolerate stress so they become more resilient.
Emotion-focused coping strategies aim to calm down the emotional center of the brain. These coping strategies include activities such as deep breathing, exercise, listening to soothing music, painting, reading, etc. Whether before or after using these emotion-focused coping skills, processing the emotions is vitally important. Processing emotions will help you identify what you are actually feeling. It is surprising how often we mislabel difficult emotions such as fear and anger.
Problem-Focused Coping Skills
Problem-focused coping skills are methods or strategies for dealing with a problem or difficulty by taking action to change the situation. Problem-focused coping skills are helpful when a person has some control over a situation (changing the things we can) and can help a person feel more empowered.
Problem-focused coping strategies aim to engage the processing center of the brain. These coping strategies include activities such as writing pros and cons, prioritizing tasks, setting boundaries, challenging negative self-talk, asking for help or time extension, etc.
Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Unhealthy coping strategies are behaviors that may provide short-term relief but may either make the difficulty worse in the long run or present a new problem as a result of the coping mechanism. Substance abuse, avoidance, self-harm, and negative self-talk are among the most common examples of unhealthy coping strategies. For instance, both problem-focused and emotion-focused coping skills may include taking a break in order to clear your head. A short break of playing video games or watching a show can be beneficial. However, using it continually as a coping strategy can lead to unhealthy bingeing. The same is true when having a drink or a bowl of ice cream to calm your nerves or engaging in “retail therapy.” Using any substance or activity as a form of escapism on a routine basis will put a person at risk of an addiction. It may provide short-term emotional relief but will heighten emotional distress in the long run.
Self-harm is another unhealthy coping mechanism used most frequently by teens. In fact, according to the American Psychological Association, nearly 17% of teens have tried it at least once. Those who engage in self-harm use it to escape emotional distress. By cutting (or other means of self-injury) the focus shifts from emotional pain to physical pain.
Christian Coping Mechanisms
Remember that Jesus said that we will have trouble, difficulties, and problems. Yet as Christians, we also have ultimate truth. That means we have access to distinctively Christian coping tools that the post-modern world does not have. Instead of simply listening to music we can let Christian music sing the Word of God over us. Instead of positive self-talk, we can let God talk. We can get our identity based on who God says we are, not who the world says we are (or are not). We can make a to-do list for those things within our control- and also make a list recounting the faithfulness of God for the things that are outside of our control. And when we need to talk to someone, we can pray and talk to God, the one who knows us better than anyone else.
As Jesus said in John 17:14-17 (NIV), “I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.”