We All Need to Lament
by tambra breyer
Lament: to mourn aloud; wail. Dictionary.com defines lament this way: to feel, show, or express grief, sorrow, or regret. We often think of grief in terms of death, yet grief, sorrow or regret can occur for any number of reasons or circumstances. There may be things that have happened to us or things that have happened through us. David lamented through various psalms for both reasons. In Psalm 3, we see David lamenting, in fear for his life, when he had to flee from his son Absolom. In Psalm 51, we read of David lamenting over his adultery with Bathsheba, the wife of his good friend. Whatever the reason or circumstance for our lament, it ultimately points to the fact that we live in a fallen world. As long as we are living on this side of eternity, there will be reasons to lament. Lamenting isn’t just an option, it’s an essential part of our daily walk with God.
When we see someone in the Bible lamenting, there is usually a pattern or process that is followed. While that process involves pouring out our hearts to God, it does not begin there nor does it end there.
Address God
When we lament, we begin by addressing God. As Jennifer Rothschild states, “When our prayers of lament begin by addressing God according to his character, they are more likely to end by affirming His worthiness of our praise.” Jeremiah, the weeping prophet, addressed God as Sovereign Lord. David addressed God as LORD, and also his rock, his redeemer, his firm foundation, his shield, etc. When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane he was praying to his Father, and called him Abba. We may turn to a trusted friend to help process our hurt. But biblical lament is the only path to healing and wholeness, and it begins with who God is.
Pour Out to God
Once you have addressed God, it’s time to pour out your heart to Him. There is no reason to hold back on any or all of your feelings. God knows them anyway and there is nothing that is too much for him to handle. In fact, it is better to name each and every emotion, each and every offense, each and every sin that is stirring in your heart and mind. The writer of Hebrews tells us to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles” (Heb. 12:1). The apostle Peter says to “Cast all your anxieties on Him because he cares for you” (1 Pet. 5:7). Anything that remains inside unnamed and unaddressed, will only serve to fester inside like an infection, which will ultimately make our souls sick. Yet, it’s important to recognize the difference between grumbling and groaning. Grumbling places us against God demanding what we want from God whereas groaning moves us toward God with an open heart that is ready to receive what God has for us. Groaning opens our heart to receive God’s goodness in ways we could never plan for.
Trust God
Some of the best hope and inspiration comes from godly people in the Bible who chose to trust God in midst of suffering. Trust comes before restoration, healing, redemption, etc. Trust in unresolved circumstances comes after a though instead of a then. After losing nearly everything except his life, Job says, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15).
In Habakkuk 3:17-18 we read,
“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.”
When we transition to trust, we admit that God is God, and we are not.
Ask God for Help
God knows what we need before we do, and he definitely know what we need better than we do. But he also wants us to tell him what we long for. He wants us to ask boldly for healing. For saving. For forgiveness. God always acts on our behalf according to his good and perfect will for us. Just as it is necessary for us to name all of our sins, hurts, and accompanying feelings surrounding those, God also wants us to ask him for what we want. Jesus was very specific in what he was asking from God in Gethsemane. He asked, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matt. 26:39). Yes, Jesus asked that Father’s will to be done. And he also asked that the cup be taken from him. What a perfect model on how to ask God for help.
Praise God
Praising God for his goodness doesn’t mean that any particular outcome has come to pass. We praise God because he hears our prayers and he cares deeply about each and every tear we have cried. We praise him because he alone knows how healing will come. He sees things that we can’t and know things we cannot possibly understand. Simply put, we praise God because he is worthy of praise!
We live in a broken world. A world full of fractured relationships, disease, and death. A world full of sin. The path to healing, to forgiveness, to repentance, to wholeness is the path through lament.
Source: Rothschild, Jennifer. “Session Five: How Long, O Lord?” When You Pray: A Study of Six Prayers in the Bible, LifeWay Press, Brentwood, TN, 2023, pp. 108–137.
When we see someone in the Bible lamenting, there is usually a pattern or process that is followed. While that process involves pouring out our hearts to God, it does not begin there nor does it end there.
Address God
When we lament, we begin by addressing God. As Jennifer Rothschild states, “When our prayers of lament begin by addressing God according to his character, they are more likely to end by affirming His worthiness of our praise.” Jeremiah, the weeping prophet, addressed God as Sovereign Lord. David addressed God as LORD, and also his rock, his redeemer, his firm foundation, his shield, etc. When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane he was praying to his Father, and called him Abba. We may turn to a trusted friend to help process our hurt. But biblical lament is the only path to healing and wholeness, and it begins with who God is.
Pour Out to God
Once you have addressed God, it’s time to pour out your heart to Him. There is no reason to hold back on any or all of your feelings. God knows them anyway and there is nothing that is too much for him to handle. In fact, it is better to name each and every emotion, each and every offense, each and every sin that is stirring in your heart and mind. The writer of Hebrews tells us to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles” (Heb. 12:1). The apostle Peter says to “Cast all your anxieties on Him because he cares for you” (1 Pet. 5:7). Anything that remains inside unnamed and unaddressed, will only serve to fester inside like an infection, which will ultimately make our souls sick. Yet, it’s important to recognize the difference between grumbling and groaning. Grumbling places us against God demanding what we want from God whereas groaning moves us toward God with an open heart that is ready to receive what God has for us. Groaning opens our heart to receive God’s goodness in ways we could never plan for.
Trust God
Some of the best hope and inspiration comes from godly people in the Bible who chose to trust God in midst of suffering. Trust comes before restoration, healing, redemption, etc. Trust in unresolved circumstances comes after a though instead of a then. After losing nearly everything except his life, Job says, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15).
In Habakkuk 3:17-18 we read,
“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.”
When we transition to trust, we admit that God is God, and we are not.
Ask God for Help
God knows what we need before we do, and he definitely know what we need better than we do. But he also wants us to tell him what we long for. He wants us to ask boldly for healing. For saving. For forgiveness. God always acts on our behalf according to his good and perfect will for us. Just as it is necessary for us to name all of our sins, hurts, and accompanying feelings surrounding those, God also wants us to ask him for what we want. Jesus was very specific in what he was asking from God in Gethsemane. He asked, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matt. 26:39). Yes, Jesus asked that Father’s will to be done. And he also asked that the cup be taken from him. What a perfect model on how to ask God for help.
Praise God
Praising God for his goodness doesn’t mean that any particular outcome has come to pass. We praise God because he hears our prayers and he cares deeply about each and every tear we have cried. We praise him because he alone knows how healing will come. He sees things that we can’t and know things we cannot possibly understand. Simply put, we praise God because he is worthy of praise!
We live in a broken world. A world full of fractured relationships, disease, and death. A world full of sin. The path to healing, to forgiveness, to repentance, to wholeness is the path through lament.
Source: Rothschild, Jennifer. “Session Five: How Long, O Lord?” When You Pray: A Study of Six Prayers in the Bible, LifeWay Press, Brentwood, TN, 2023, pp. 108–137.